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Newsletter June 29, 2010 Take Positive Action, Be Proactive |
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One of my mentors talks about certain people as “sandbags”. He’ll be encouraging me to do something or take some action. I produce a reason why I can’t because of some other person and what he/she might think or feel. “They are sandbags, Maree. They are dragging you down and under. Get them off your back.”
Maree Harris. PhD.
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Being Pro-active and Taking Responsibility Leads to Success. If only “they” would fix this, do that, manage this, stop them, ……………. How often do we hear that in organisations? How often do we say it ourselves? Or maybe we know we shouldn’t say it, but we think it anyway. There’s a great book I’ve just come across by Gallagher and Ventura, titled “Who are ‘They’ Anyway?” “They” are the people we want to remove every challenge and difficulty from our lives so that we don’t have to assume responsibility for them. We then won’t have to change anything about ourselves. Are you one of these “change my situation, but don’t change me” people? When we face a problem, something that stands in the way of us getting what we want, many people automatically go into “They” mode. Regardless of the circumstances they make it someone else’s problem. “They” have to fix it. Why do we do this? Because the alternative is changing ourselves and that’s difficult. There’s an old saying: “If we’re not part of the solution, we’re part of the problem.” That is very true here. Being part of the solution means asking ourselves what part we have played in what has happened and being prepared to accept personal responsibility for fixing it. Sometimes we may not have even been involved at any level, but because it happened in our workplace, or on our street, or in our team or at the meeting we attended, we assume a personal responsibility for fixing it because we see ourselves as part of a bigger picture which brings with it a heightened sense of responsibility. This is about being pro-active. Being Pro-active – One of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. “Being Pro-active” was the first of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Pro-active people are successful people. They are positive, always lead from the front, are solution focussed, don’t dwell on the past and always look to the future. Pro-active people never expect “they” to do anything. They do whatever has to be done themselves, or they powerfully motivate and inspire others to work with them to do it. They are people of influence that are very empowering to be around. Nothing is impossible for them. They will have a go at resolving whatever comes across their path. They have an expansive, abundance mindset. Those who expect “they” to do it are reactive people. They act on very little that happens in their lives, but re-act to everything. That means they complain, whinge, criticise, complain but rarely do anything about it all. They are negative, pessimistic and blaming people who dwell in the past. They are usually disengaged and very much play the role of victim. They have a shrinking, famine mindset. We all know reactive people and we all know pro-active ones. How Do I Become Pro-active?
Some Inspiration To Help. Gallagher and Ventura have some words of wisdom that give us food for thought: The 10 most important words: I won’t wait for others to take the first step. The 9 most important words: If it is to be, it’s up to me. The 8 most important words: If not me, who? If not now, when? The 7 most important words: Let me take a shot at it. The 6 most important words: I will not pass the buck. The 5 most important words: You can count on me. The 4 most important words: It IS my job! The 3 most important words: Just do it! The 2 most important words: I will. The most important word: Me.
Today's Tip A Small Step Towards Work-life Balance - Don’t ever say “yes” on the spot to anything you are invited or asked to do. Take some time to step back from it and get back to people later. I’m sure all of you have had the experience of being invited to
just to mention some examples. You would love to do all these things. You know you can do them. It is an honour to be asked. It will be good for your career. The person asking you has even told you that you are the right person for the job! (Don’t we always fall for that one). You say “yes” on the spot. The next day, or sometimes even within one hour, back in the grind of everything and overwhelmed with what is on your plate, you ask yourself: “Why did I ever agree to do that? I don’t know how I am ever going to fit it in.” Already you are becoming very stressed about agreeing to do it. An Alternative Approach. Don’t say “yes” on the spot, but don’t say “no” either.
These kinds of responses give you the opportunity to remove yourself from the emotional space of the invitation and into a more objective space where you can think through whether you can, or whether you even want to, do what you are being invited to do. You are much more likely to make a decision that is right for you.
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