It was Steve Jobs who said:"I want to put a dent in the universe".

I want to do that also, but I as well I want all the people I work with to be in this with me.

That means you the readers of this newsletter.

Too many people feel disempowered, disillusioned and even hopeless today. They don't feel they can make a difference or change anything that is really important to them. Many of those who have more ambition and drive are frightened to take risks, fear failure, are apprehensive. They stay where they are dreaming, but procrastinating. 

In this newsletter there is Karen's story of being proactive and setting the agenda in her job that saw her achieve great success for herself, her company and her industry/professional group.

The second article is for those people who have made a considerable commitment to the development of their technical skills but can't move forward because they do not have the soft skills that they've now realised are so important.

So read on and see how you might be able to put a dent in the universe.
                                                                                                                

Where Do I Start To Improve My Soft Skills?

This question has been asked a lot in recent times in forums on the internet.

People who have sought feedback after job interviews have been told they need to improve their soft skills.

CEOs have told their managers that they need to improve their soft skills.

Managers have told a team member that he/she needs to improve his/her soft skills.

None of these people are specific about what needs to be improved. Even the few that can articulate that are not able to tell the person how do it.

Yet it is becoming increasingly obvious that if people want to advance their careers, being technically very competent is no longer enough.

Small and Simple Things Make All The Difference.

The points I make below are so simple that some people may be tempted to by pass them, but they are foundational if anyone wants to develop – or enhance – their soft skills.

Even the person who lacks well-developed soft skills but who has reached significant career goals - usually because they are technically highly competent – will benefit from going back to basics.

Begin to make these changes where it is most non-threatening for you, for example, in your own family, at the corner shop where you buy your milk and papers, at the supermarket check-out, or where you buy your petrol.

Begin one at a time – one a week, for example. When it feels natural not contrived or practised, introduce another one. When you have made one of these soft skills part of your life, that’s when you begin to use it at work and with everyone you know. If you haven’t been outgoing like this in the past, people may be surprised at first. When you remain consistently like this, however, you will notice a big difference in the quality of the relationships you develop with people.

• Say hello to people with a smile and eye to eye contact which connects you to them.

• Where you need to handshake, make it strong and firm. I recently heard the general manager of a large hotel chain saying that he has to teach the young customer service staff how to shake hands with arriving and departing guests because he saw it as very important and they didn’t know how to do it.

• Be genuinely interested in people. Ask them questions about what they do/are doing to show that interest. Follow on with further questions to build the relationship. Leave a lasting impression. Make them feel important. Author Tim Sanders made a very important point when he said: "Long after people forget what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel."
  

• Actively listen. We have 1 mouth and 2 ears for a reason. Give them undivided attention. Don’t plan your answer while they are talking. Listen without judgment or criticism.

• Remember people’s names. This is the bane of many people lives, but doing the first three things above will help enormously. Repeat their name in the very next comment you make after they have given it to you. Repeat it a number of times in the conversation you have with them.

• Always maintain a positive, can-do attitude. Be responsive to people and help them. No one wants to be around someone who sees everything in the negative.

• Look for the positive in other people – their strengths, their talents, their contributions – and let them know with your comments that you value and appreciate them.

Some Things Never Change.

These are the things that never change.

I was recently reminded of just how important these simple things are when I resurrected my copy of Dale Carnegie's book "How To Win Friends And Influence People". My copy is the revised 1981 version, but it was originally written in 1936. It was one of the first self help books written and has sold 15 million copies. The message is still the same and the Dale Carnegie Foundation still conducts workshops on this theme.

Set Your Own Agenda - One Reader's Experience.

With a business name like People Empowered, it is not surprising that meeting empowered people is the highlight of my work.

These are people who don’t let anything stand in the way of them achieving their goals. They know that the power to change what is happening in their lives, either personally or professionally, lies within them. They are proactive and take the initiative to make things happen for themselves and for their teams and organisations.

This week I had an email from Karen*, one of my empowered, proactive readers. She was responding to my recent Monday Motivation Tip titled “Set Your Own Agenda” that I wrote a couple of weeks ago. If you missed it you can get it here.

Karen began working as a program manager for her company about 4 years ago. It’s partially dependent on State and Commonwealth government funding and changes of policy depending on what political party is in power. It is subjected to budget restraints and regulatory and compliance requirements. So, on the surface at least, it would appear she would have little room to set her own agenda.

Karen’s program at the time was one of four in her department managed by one Executive Manager. It was also the one in which her Executive Manager was least interested. This was partly because at the time it was not considered an important part of the company’s work. Karen therefore received little support in managing it and was left to her own devices. In fact, her Executive Manager told her constantly that it was her job to do what needed to be done, to take the action that needed to be taken.

Initially Karen was very frustrated at the lack of support from her manager and the apparent disinterest in her program. Many people in this situation move into cruise control, feeling that if the company isn’t going to put any energy into this program why should I. Others do not have the confidence to take the action required independent of management or organisational support. It is too risky. They would be frightened they may make mistakes and be blamed for what they’d done. That would not be a good career move. So they take the safe road and just keep their program on steady ground.

Not Karen! After continually being told it was her program and she was to manage it, she took the risk and began to set her agenda for where she wanted it to go.  She changed her mindset from one of frustration to one of opportunity. She decided that she was going to take her program area from one of insignificance in the company to one of importance that no one could ignore.

Fast track to today. Karen’s program has now grown to be a department in its own right in her company. She is the Executive Manager.  It is a highly regarded program and considered to lead best practice in her industry group in the State.

Lessons to Learn from Karen.

Karen has very good professional/industry based technical skills. She also has a good understanding of the big picture, the landscape, of her industry –its history, structure, culture and politics.  Without these it is very unlikely that someone can set their own agenda and achieve the outcomes that Karen did.

Her Personal Leadership skills – those all important Soft Skills – however, were also well-developed. These are the skills we need to lead ourselves before we can lead others. They were equally important to her success.

• She was proactive, rather than reactive, took initiative and became a catalyst for change. She did not stay stuck in her frustration at not being supported. She was not prepared to accept the status quo for where her program was at. She anticipated what needed to happen and moved out of her comfort zone and took action.

• She was resilient, bounced back from what appeared initially to be an adverse situation – no support, no real interest in her program.  Resilient people expand their circle of influence and attract success to themselves. Karen has certainly done that for herself, her program and her company.

• She became a leader not just a manager deciding not just to “manage” her program, but to create a vision for its future – a big picture - and lead her team and the company to come on board with it and make it happen. Managers can often tend to just manage the tasks and operational requirements of their roles.

• She was a passionate advocate for her professional/industry sector. Without that she could not have achieved what she did.

• She believed in herself and what she was trying to achieve and then drew people around her who also believed what she believed.

As Karen says: “The rewards of setting your own agenda are there to be reaped!”

* Name and other details changed to protect her identity.

Copyright © People Empowered-Maree Harris 2011
All articles in the People Empowered newsletter by Maree Harris are copyright, but they can be reproduced as long as they include on the bottom the following short biography- "Maree Harris PhD. is the Director of People Empowered. She is a coach, consultant and facilitator of professional development, specialising in the development and enhancement of soft skills- http://www.peopleempowered.com.au "
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